Monster. Such an interesting word. Seems so easy to place it on anyone these days.
This ‘sincerity’ doesn’t feel very sincere,
With all this name callin, yet you trynna talk about truth?
Did you forget who you were talking to?
Monsters are people who take you in
Butter you up
Pretend to give you family
Only to force themselves on you
After you’ve forgotten how to scream.
So you build a garden in your mind that you float away to sometimes
And there you scream
There you watch the cracks from unseen tears
Stretch themselves across your body threatening to shatter.
Monsters are lovers who catch you in mourning
But only talk about their own plight
Filling up your eardrums
With nonessential hatred
Call you whore
Scream you ain’t good enough
Then ask for forgiveness asking you to love’em.
Monsters are lovers who come as friends
But neva planned on being a friend to begin with.
I must’ve been your favorite toy,
because the monsters can’t seem to get enough of me,
Wanna neatly dig into every crack,
Reopen every scar,
Fill your belly with every poison,
Slap, choke, rage from their own pain
Until it becomes the permanent jewelry we wear.
Monsters are old lovers that neva seem to own their transgressions
It was always something I did
But had you been honest to begin with
We could’ve just remained friends
Without the mess in between.
But see monsters are selfish like that.
Even when they ask to see the bigger picture they only ever seem to be looking at their own reflection.
Limited view. Limited feelings. Baby ain’t you healed yet from the past times that had nothing to do with me.
Baby ain’t you healed yet from the lack of love momma ain’t leave you with
Beloved tell me you learned to be full on your own two feet so you could stop looking for bodies to become the backbone
Holding you together.
Tell me beloved, if you’re so happy now
And I was such a ‘monster’
Why do continue to look for me?
– when they say they moved on but haven’t | withdrawal